Miroku's Misadventure
by rikustrength
Summary: My first Fanfiction! 3 It will always hold a special place in my cold corrupted heart... Hope you enjoy it!
1. The consequences of intoxication

Ok, I haven't ever done anything like this before, and something tells me I'm not very good at it either... But After being tainted by cat's fanfic this idea found its way into my mind and I can't sleep at night untill I get it out of my system... So, here goes (I warn you chapter one is a bit short).

WARNING: THIS IS A YAOI FANFICTION. It isnot overly graphic, but it is yaoi, and well... This involves Mrioku of all people, you do the math ok? If you do not like yaoi either don't read this or don't flame me for it being yaoi. Thankyou. )

After one of their various fights with Naraku and one of the various times Miroku stupidly sucks Naraku's poisonous insects into his Wind Tunnel and one of the various times he almost dies, we see our heroes huddled over the near dead Miroku...

(did I make that sentance long enough?)

Kagome: I hope that antidote will do the trick... Miroku you really need to be more careful. This time you pushed yourself too far.

Inuyasha: Yea, every time this happens you're bedridden for weeks and when Naraku moves, we need to move!

Kagome: Inuyasha! Thats the most heartless thing I've ever heard you say!

Inuyasha: Well someone needs to say it! If This stupid monk wouldn't go and get himself almost killed all the time we wouldn't need to worry about him so much!

Sango inches closer to Miroku as Inuyasha and Kagome proceed to try and kill each other as usual

Sango: How are you feeling Miroku? Is Kagome's antidote working?

Miroku: Ungh... Just seeing your lovely face is enough of an antidote to bring me from the clutches of death each and every time.

Inuyasha who is now done fighting with Kagome after being told to "sit" about twenty times comes and sits next to Sango :Miroku thats about the cheesiest thing I've ever heard.

Sango is now blushing

Miroku: But its all true... Really it is...

Inuyasha: Really? Was it true when you said it to, oh who else was it now? Oh yea, every other girl you happen to see out of the corner of your eye!

Sango: Miroku! You horrible pervert!

Miroku: Now Sango, let me show you how much I love you.

Miroku closes his eyes and reaches for Sango's butt and blissfully begins stroking it as he usually does

Miroku: thinking Strange... Sango has put on some weight I think... Wait a second!

Miroku opens his eyes to see that it is neither Sango nor Kagome's posterior that his hands have found their way to

Miroku: OO

Inuyasha: OO

Sango: OO

Kagome: OO

Inuyasha: I DON'T CARE HOW SICK YOU ARE, GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OUT OF THERE YOU DISGUISTING EXCUSE FOR A MONK!

Inuyasha then gets up and backs away from the now paralyzed Miroku and collapses on the floor

Miroku: ... ... ... ... M-my hands... ... Are... .. I... I can't feel them anymore...

Sango gets up and begins to walk away

Sango: Serves you right. You finally got what you deserved.

Kagome Still a bit dazed : Poor Inuyasha...

And so ends Miroku's misadventure... ... ... That wasn't too painful now was it? ... ... Yea, don't answer that...


	2. Old foes and new problems!

Ok, this probably isn't as good as chapter one (that moment was just priceless), but here goes...

(By the way, I thought long and hard about if I should allow Miroku and Inuyasha some mercy and not make worse things happen to them. ... ... And I decided that would be no fun. Mwahahaha!)

Some time after the events that occured in chapter one... ... ...

In one of the various occasions where Naraku uses one of his various means of trickery to attempt to destroy Inuyasha after one of the various occasions where Inuyasha and gang just HAPPEN to stumble across Naraku's castle...

Naraku: You're dead Inuyasha! This time you will not escape me!

Inuyasha: What the hell are you talking about? You're always the one who runs away!

Naraku: ... ... I belive you're mistaken... ... ...

Inuyasha: No, you always run away right as I'm about to kill you!

Naraku: Funny, I don't remember any of this...

Inuyasha: Aw don't give me any of this crp!

Everyone else has been waiting patiently untill now while Inuyasha and Naraku debate about who flees from who

Miroku: Inuyasha, if we are just going to kill him anyway does it matter what he thinks?

Inuyasha: Uh... ... Good point.

Inuyasha Draws his sword and everyone else prepares for battle

Sango: Ready Kirara?

Inuyasha: You guys stay out of this, Naraku is mine!

Shippou: No problem with that here...

Kagome: Oh come on Inuyasha, you need us!

Inuyasha: Feh, as if!

(I made Inuyasha say "feh" XD)

Kagome: Come on! Every hero needs side-kicks!

Miroku: Wait, we're side-kicks now?

Sango: Yea, I thought we were main characters!

Naraku: Hah, main character or otherwise I'll take you all down!

Inuyasha: Bring it on Naraku, I'll kill you all by myself. I need side-kicks like I need butt implants!

Miroku: ... ... ... Well I wouldn't say that...

Inuyasha: WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT ALREADY?

Naraku: OO;; Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: Huh? W-wha--Its not what it sounds like!

Miroku: Oh Inuyasha, for someone who probably enjoyed that ghastly incident you sure are making a big deal of it...

Inuyasha: I didn't enjoy a single second of your hand being there you gender confused pervert!

Naraku: Ugh... Even for me this is a little too much... ...

Inuyasha: Oh my God! Its not as big a deal as they're making it out to be! Miroku just grabbed myass is all!--

Naraku: 00;;

Inuyasha: N-no thats not what I mean!

Naraka: I think I've heard enough... Inuyasha you can do whatever you want with that HUMAN GIRL, but this? You and your bi-curious monk are just too much. Untill next time Inuyasha... ... ... Hopefully after you can get some things straightened out... ...

Naraku and his entire castle once again dissapear into thin air and along with it any chance of defeating Naraku...

Inuyasha: I-i can't belive that happened... ... ... We really have to kill him now... ...

Miroku: Bi-curious? ...

Kagome: Well at least no one got almost killed this time (actually it just doesn't feel right encountering Naraku without someone getting a big hole blown through them...).

Sango: Well none of us got hurt on the outside anyway (those scars on the inside however are never healing...)...

Miroku: Butt implants? ...

Inuyasha: If you don't shut up about that already I'm going to take that staff of yours and--

Kagome: SIT BOY!

Inuyasha--well you know what happens to Inuyasha when Kagome says "sit"...

Inuyasha: Ungh!

Shippou: So this is what was going on when I was out that night... Inuyasha and Miroku were having a secret love affair...

Sango: ... ... Yea, thats exactly what happened...

Inuyasha: W-what? THAT IS SO NOT WHAT HAPPENED YOU WITCH!

And so this endless torrent of swears and death threats woven seamlessly together continued on well into the night untill everyone was so exhausted they all collapsed onto the ground. And just as everyone else had fallen asleep, our favorite perverted monk crept over to his beloved Sango to feel her up one last time before he went to sleep... ... ...

Miroku: Ahhh... ... Such a wonderfully bootie-liciousass Sango has... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Wait, this isn't Sango, this is--OO Crp, not again...

So ends another tiring day for Inuyasha and his almost friends. Though they may not have found another sacred jewel shard, and they may not have defeated Naraku, and they may not have gotten any stronger, and... And... And... ... ... Yea, nothing good really happened... Well, better luck next time guys!

Well, thats it... For now anyway. I don't think its as good as my first one (nothing i can think of will ever top that), but I liked it... Poor Inuyasha, he wasn't even awake this time... Mwahaha!


	3. The End?

During one of the various times our heroes are just walking through a forest--ok stop right there... Why am I putting them in a forest? Its so horribly boring... I mean, this is my fanfic, I can put them anywhere I want right? They are always walking through a forest, always! Why not along the beach? Or through a desert or two? Hell I would even settle for a plain old grassy field, but always with the forests? ... ... Well I guess I have wasted enough of this fanfic debating where to put our heroes, I guess I'll just let them walk through their crummy forest... ...

(I coulda put them anywhere if I wanted to! pouts)

Kagome trails behind everyone else reading a book

Inuyasha: Hey Kagome! What are you doing all the way back there?

Kagome looks up from her book as if she had forgotten there was a world outside the fantasy it offered and blushed deeply

Kagome: Sorry! I was just reading and--erm... I guess I wasn't paying attention!

Kagome runs to catch up to everyone else

Shippou: What are you reading Kagome?

Kagome slips her book into her pack before anyone catches a glimpse of it

Kagome: Its called a "manga."

Inuyasha: A man-ga? (he pronounces it like the word "man")

Kagome: No no no, manga. (Kagome corrects him)

Sango: So what is a manga?

Kagome: Well in my time it is considered one of God's greatest creations!

Miroku: Really?

Kagome: Yup! And there is a manga for everyone too, there is action, drama, adventure... ... Romance...

Kagome giggles and steals a glance at Inuyasha... ... ... ... Inuyasha being the idiot that he is doesn't notice

Inuyasha: W-wait... ... That scent, I think I can smell Naraku!

Sango: Really? Where!

Inuyasha gets on his hands and knees trying to make out Naraku's scent

Inuyasha: He is definately close by, I can-- ... ... ... Miroku, are you looking at my ass?

Miroku: oo;; Uhm, no. No I am not.

Kagome: Oh Miroku! Don't lie, I saw you oggling his butt like no tomorrow.

Sango: W-what?

Miroku: KAGOME! I was NOT staring at Inuyasha's butt! Inuyasha you know I don't--

Inuyasha: Shut up! Naraku is here...

A small cloud of darkness begins to form in the sky and a figure slowly emerges from it. When the dust clears Naraku's figure stands before them

Naraku: Inuyasha, so good to see you again. Tell me, are you ready to die?

Inuyasha: Hardly! But I think I'm just about ready to kill you!

Naraku: Cute, do you want to die alone or with your life partner?

Inuyasha: OO Excuse me?

Naraku: The monk, I said--

Inuyasha: NO!

Naraku: Oh I see, you want him to live on after you die to love other people and--

Inuyasha: NO NO NOOO! I like Kikyo!

Kagome: Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: Erm, and Kagome...

Naraku: ... ... ... Quite an interesting love triangle you have there Inuyasha, but none of that matters now. Prepare to die!

Inuyasha draws his Tetsaiga and he and Naraku do battle. You know, a blow here a blow there. Miroku and Sango try to help and get hurt, the usual stuff...

Inuyasha: I'm not letting up! You're going down Naraku!

Naraku: Taste my wrath Inuyasha!

Inuyasha and Naraku clash in a blow of cosmic porportion

Miroku: H-how can they do that? Is that strength even possible... ...

Kagome comes to sit near Miroku

Kagome: Inuyasha is so strong, he has come such a long way... We all have, gathering the jewel shards. Fighting new demons... And its made us all a lot closer--OO

Miroku is groping Kagome's ass

Kagome: MIROKU!

Miroku: Oops, my hand slipped... ...

Kagome: Yea right! You were so feeling me up!

Miroku: Erm... Was not! Uuuuuh... ... Shouldn't you be helping Inuyasha? Why don't you go do something preistessish?

Kagome: Fine, and right after I do I'm coming back for you!

Kagome walks over to her pack looking very p/oed and pulls her manga out

Kagome: Naraku! I didn't want to do this, but I cannot allow you to hurt Inuyasha!

Naraku: Oh, and what are you going to do to stop me little girl?

Kagome: This! Taste my preistess yaoi blast!

Kagome opens her manga (FAKE vol. 7) to a marked page and searing hot light bursts from its pages tearing through the air to Naraku. As it reaches him it burns right through him and obliterates every fiber of him

Naraku: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT FAKE! Maybe if it was Ghost I could handle it, BUT NOT FAKE!

KRA-KOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

The dust settles and Naraku is gone. Dead. Kagome returns her manga to her pack once again and makes her way to everyone else

Inuyasha: .. Well that was... ... Interesting...

Sango: At least that monster is finally dead! Maybe I can find Kohaku now...

Shippou: Yea! I'm so glad Naraku is dead, now I can--erm... ... Wait, I don't really have a reason to hate Naraku... ... Really he wasn't that bad now that I think about it... ... Man, poor guy... What a way to go... ...

Miroku takes the cloth away from his right hand and looks at the spot where his Wind Tunnel is to see... ... ... Nothing

Miroku: I-i'm finally free from my curse... My family can live on now... ...

Tears begin to form at Miroku's eyes

Sango: Miroku?

Miroku: I'm just so happy... ...

Sango: Yes, I'm happy too.

Sango looks deeply into Miroku's eyes and he looks back into hers. As they gaze deeply at each other their feelings for one another begin to build even more than before

Miroku: Sango, I...

Inuyasha: Miroku... ...

Miroku: What is it Inuyasha, I'm kind of--

Inuyasha is crying

Kagome: Whats wrong Inuyasha?

Inuyasha: All this time I was fighting... Always trying to become stronger... Always thinking about how to destroy Naraku... ... But it was all just something I invented to distract myself. I don't really care about killing Naraku... I don't really care about becoming stronger... I don't even care about the jewel shards... All I really cared about... ... ...

Kagome: Inuyasha?

Inuyasha: Is... ... You... ... ... ... ... ... Miroku!

Miroku: OO;;

Sango: OO

Kagome: OO

Shippou: ;; not paying attention and still thinking about Naraku

Inuyasha: Its true! All this time we were traveling together... All this time I was conflicted over Kagome and Kikyo, it was just a big trick! I'm so sorry Miroku... ...

Miroku: Inuyasha... ... ..;; I, uuuh... I kind of have feelings for Sango...

Inuyasha: What? No! That can't be true! I... ... I won't accept this!

Inuyasha walks up to Miroku and pins him down kissing him deeply

Kagome: OH MY GOD INUYASHA STOP!

Sango: My eyes!

Shippou: Naraku... ... ;; still not paying attention

Inuyasha lets up on Miroku and they look at each other

Inuyasha: Now tell me you don't love me too.

Miroku begins to blush as feelings he never imagined he could have for Inuyasha began to surface

Miroku: Inuyasha... ... ... I... ... ... I... ... ...

Miroku snaps to attention as he wakes up in a shack. Sweat is pouring down from his forehead as he looks around in the dim light

Miroku: A... ... A dream? ... ... ... But... It was so real... ...

Inuyasha and the others walk in

Inuyasha: Aaaah, so the dead lives.

Miroku: Huh?

Inuyasha: You don't remember? While we were traveling you tripped over a rock and bashed your head. You have been out for days mumbling the strangest things.

Miroku: really? ..;;

Kagome: Yea, I'm so glad you are ok though. You had us worried.

Sango: I was really worried Miroku...

Miroku Ignoring Sango and Kagome: Thats nice, hey Inuyasha?

Inuyasha: What?

Miroku feebly gets up and walks to Inuyasha

Miroku: Inuyasha, can you tell me something?

Inuyasha: Whats up?--OO

Miroku is groping Inuyasha's ass

Miroku: Do you like this or should I go lower?

Kagome: OO

Sango: OO

Shippou: OO

Inuyasha: ... ... ... GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME YOU VILE MONK!

Inuyasha hits Miroku in the gut hard and Miroku is slammed into the wall on the opposite side of the room

Miroku: Ngh... ... ... Didn't think so... ... ... sigh

And so the day ends for our heroes, and Miroku too. Though he was rejected today, perhaps someday Inuyasha will return Miroku's love...

Aaaaah, just gotta love it huh? I TOLD YOU IT WOULD GET WORSE! Mwahaha! Poor confused Miroku... ... XD How I love making them do what I will them to. DANCE MY PUPPETS! DANCE!


End file.
